


Secrets, Secrets

by gxxus



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Gay Relationship, College, College AU, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, NSFW, Romance, Sexual Content, Teacher-Student Relationship, True Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2018-12-12 14:52:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11739339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gxxus/pseuds/gxxus
Summary: Steven Rogers is an extremely intelligent, hardworking college student with a lot on his mind. Unfortunately, overworking himself has made his grades drop significantly, especially in one class taught by Dr. James Barnes. A meeting about helping Steve with assignments turns into something completely unexpected - a love confession. Now Steve has to not only balance homework and his social life, but also keep his romantic relationship with his professor a secret from the world.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I really like college au's, so this happened. whoops?
> 
> EDIT: I had chapters of this fic posted already, but I reread it and hated it so i decided to rewrite it!!!

Steve Rogers was a straight A student with the highest GPA in his graduating class, and too many scholarships to count. Steve Rogers also happened to be one of the greatest football stars during his high school career,  _ and  _ class president,  _ and _ valedictorian. Needless to say, the expectations were high in regards to his college education. He made it into the school of his dreams, decided to major in the extensive category of world history, and for the most part everything was going better than predicted. Just like any incoming freshman he was worried about fitting in and making friends, as well as getting along with his professors. The first few weeks went smoothly. His social life was what every student dreamed of, and it helped that he was already well known because of his role in his high school’s athletics.

However, about two months in, things started to slip through the cracks. It’s not as if he was slacking off. He was actually trying  _ too  _ hard, which was his downfall. He wanted to make sure every single worksheet, essay or project was perfect to the core. Which is practically impossible with such a busy college life. But that didn’t stop him. Not only was he overdoing things, but because he was so focused on one thing at a time he would end up neglecting the numerous other assignments he was required to complete. And thus began his decline in grades. 

He wasn’t doing poorly in every class, though. He found some of them easy and similar to his high school classes. It just happened to be one class that was driving him up the wall. And it wasn’t because of his teacher. It was more his own fault. He would overthink everything and work on homework far too long, resulting in turning them in days (if not weeks) late. He didn’t really know how bad his grades were until his professor called him up after class one day. 

“Hey Steve, can I talk to you for a second?”

Steve shuffled out of his seat and walked up to the front of the room as the other students filed out in a frenzy. 

“Close the door on your way out, please.” The professor said to the last girl walking out. Suddenly Steve was alone with his teacher in the huge lecture hall. 

“Is something wrong Dr. Barnes?” He asked quietly; puzzled. The professor folded his hands and leaned forward a bit. 

“Lemme ask you something, Steve. Are you having trouble in here?”

Steve scrunched his eyes together in confusion. “Not really, no.” Dr. Barnes studied his face carefully.

“I’ve just been noticing that you’re turning things in late. I want to be able to give you full credit, since your work is skillfully done, but I have to follow guidelines when students turn in assignments after the given deadline.”

The student slightly jerked his head back in shock; had he seriously been submitting stuff that late…? “I-I understand, sir.” He muttered in response. 

“That being said,” Dr. Barnes continued, “I’m willing to help you out a bit. I can help you plan out your papers and even brainstorm some ideas with you, if you like. I’ll also be sure to help you manage your time more wisely.” He chuckled a bit, scooting up his chair. “Have a seat.” 

Steve nodded and pulled up a chair to his professor’s desk, sitting up nice and straight as if that would make a good impression. Dr. Barnes could sense that Steve was more nervous than he appeared. 

“Before we get to all the serious shit, let’s break the ice a bit, yeah? I know you’ve only been here a few months and I hardly know you. It’ll be less daunting if you feel more relaxed, I’m sure.”

Steve didn’t really know how to respond, so, again, he nodded. Dr. Barnes held back a snort. 

“I guess I’ll start then. Jesus, I don’t know where though..” He sat in thought for a few seconds before his eyes lit up. “Let me tell you how I became a teacher here! It’s a long story but I’ll make it brief for both our sakes. Basically, a while back I had a mentor who helped me become the person I am today. He told me he was a teacher, and at the time I thought I would  _ never  _ want to teach kids, but hey look at me now. He bragged about me to his boss, which I seriously didn’t deserve, but I’m grateful for it. Honestly I absolutely love what I do now.” 

“That’s really cool!” Steve murmured with a sheepish grin, “I had someone like that who helped me feel more confident. I was actually super shy when I first started high school, and sometimes I still am, but I ended up being the mascot of our grade which I never thought would happen. Popularity was the last thing on my mind.”

“Oh yeah, you were the valedictorian of your class right?”

“Mhm! I-I don’t really deserve that title, though. I just got good grades.”

Dr. Barnes snickered, “Well, that’s a pretty big deal when it comes to school. I was pretty much the opposite. I was kind of a rebel, actually.”

“Seriously?” 

“Yeah! Leather jackets, bitchy attitude, played the whole ‘lone wolf’ type. It was so stupid and I cringe when I think about it.” 

Steve was starting to relax now as he talked with his professor. He found it fun to talk to him, and even related with him on some level. They weren’t far off age-wise, so it made sense. They talked much longer than intended, but Steve didn’t mind at all. It was only when his roommate texted him that he snapped back into present time. Dr. Barnes looked at the clock and saw it was getting late. 

“Shit, I didn’t mean to keep you here this long.”

“No, no it’s alright. My roommate was just asking where I was. I told him I was grabbing some coffee.” Steve stuffed his phone back into his pocket, “Er, we didn’t exactly talk about my grades…” 

“God dammit, I apologize, I get off track easily. Do you want to set up a time so we can meet?”

“Sure! Maybe after class someday this week?” 

“Wednesday?”

“Perfect.” 

Dr. Barnes took out a notepad and pen to write down a reminder, circled it three times and put a few stars next to it. “Got it. Sorry again for holding you up.” 

“No problem, sir.” Steve politely dismissed the apology with his hand as he stood up to leave. There was a brief period of silence as he packed up his belongings. “Thanks again.” 

“Sure thing.” The professor said, kind of quietly; hesitantly. Steve wasn’t going to pry, though. He smiled in Dr. Barnes direction as a goodbye and started towards the door. As soon as he reached for the doorknob, however, Dr. Barnes called out to him.

“W-Wait, Steve.” 

He stopped in his tracks and turned his head. Dr. Barnes seemed kind of panicked, but Steve remained calm. 

“I need to say something.” 

Okay, never mind, he started to get freaked out too. What was going on? 

“Y-Yes, sir?” 

Dr. Barnes got up from his seat and approached Steve, avoiding his eyes. He didn’t say anything for several seconds, as if he was regretting his decision to speak up. 

“I really don’t know how to say this.” He started, “I didn’t exactly call you up to my desk just to discuss grades. That was part of it, but…” Dr. Barnes took a long, deep breath before forcing himself to look up at Steve. 

“I’m really interested in you. Wait, god, no that sounds so creepy. I-I…” He paused again, leaving Steve to sit in the sudden anxiety filling his body. “I like you a lot. Not just as a student. Ever since you started my class I’ve been drawn to you. I know it sounds disgusting, and quite honestly I don’t know what to do about it, but you deserve to know.”

Steve’s cheeks ignited into a dark pink. He didn’t know what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t this. “U-Uh… I-I don’t…” He was at a loss for words. He couldn’t deny that Dr. Barnes was attractive, or that he might have fantasized about being with him, but that was only in his wildest dreams. Now that he was faced with this odd confession, he had no idea what to say or do. 

“I-I’m sorry Steven, I know I shouldn’t have said anything but the guilt was killing me.” Dr. Barnes cleared his throat, “Your roommate is probably worried about you. Have a good night.”

“S-Sir.” Steve suddenly squeaked, even surprising himself. “I kind of feel the same way. E-Even just talking to you tonight has been fun and I felt really comfortable. I’m just worried because, you know, I’m a-”

“Student, and I’m a teacher.” Dr. Barnes finished with a sigh, “Yeah, I know. It’s probably not a good idea in the long run, so let’s just forget about it, okay?” 

Their eyes locked for a few seconds, but the professor pulled away from the gaze. Steve almost felt… sad. Was he daydreaming or something? Did he fall asleep in class? 

“No one would know.” He blurted out. His blush only grew deeper.  _ What _ did he just say?! Dr. Barnes looked like he couldn’t believe it either. “I-I mean, I wouldn’t tell anyone.” 

“Steve, I’m not going to force you into anything you don’t want to be involved in. I’m not trying to guilt trip you into it.” 

“You aren’t. I-I’m being sincere. I wouldn’t mind… being in a relationship with you.” 

“Steven, you do know this is a huge risk for both of us?” Dr. Barnes asked sternly, despite the fact that his nose and ears were reddening, “If anyone finds out, we’re both fucked.” 

“I’m good at keeping secrets, sir.” 

Dr. Barnes stifled a laugh, “Jesus Christ don’t call me ‘sir’, it sounds creepy as hell. Call me Bucky. At least in private.”

“Bucky…” It felt disrespectful, Steve thought, but he would try to get used to it. His stomach was in knots as this all played out. “S-So… are we a thing now?” 

“You could say that.” Bucky said with a smile, “But don’t think I’m gonna ease up on the whole turning things in late!” 

Steve smiled in return, “Damn, I change my mind then!” He joked, causing both of them to laugh as the tension wore away and that familiar, comforting feeling settled in. “Kidding. But um… Guess I’ll see you Wednesday?” 

“Yup. 12 o’clock sharp.”

“As always, sir- sorry,  _ Bucky _ . That’s gonna take some getting used to.” Steve reached for the door a second time and swung it open, starting his way out.

“Oh, let me give you my cell number real quick.” Bucky said, jotting it down on a sticky note and sticking it on Steve’s arm. “There. Feel free to text me whenever. Except during class.” He finished with a wink, scooting Steve out. 

“Will do. See you.” 

The door shut behind him. It all started to sink in the second he was alone in the hallway. His teacher just admitted he had feelings for him. He admitted the same to his teacher. And now he and his teacher are romantically involved. What the  _ hell _ had he gotten himself into?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bdsm? nah, my kink is romance.

It had been several weeks since he had started dating his professor. They were still in the honeymoon phase, where everything seemed too good to be true. At first  Steve found it exciting to be involved in such a risky relationship; he got a strange rush from the idea. But after that subsided, he soon came to the realization that he was putting his entire educational career in jeopardy. If word somehow spread, he would instantly be expelled, Bucky would be fired, and there would probably be some sort of complicated lawsuit that would turn him away from relationships altogether. The more he thought about it, the more scared he became.

It didn’t help that he was impulsive in general. He was dubbed the “yes man” in his friend group because he would always agree to things and overwhelm himself. He found it hard to say no.

But there was a major difference with this particular situation: another person’s feelings were on the line. Bucky had made it clear that he liked Steve, but also was sure to mention that he wasn’t going to force him into anything. And now that Steve had accepted, it was harder to back out without really hurting Bucky. Needless to say, it’s a difficult decision.

Bucky could tell something was going on, too. Steve usually participated in class, but now he was reserved and quiet unless called upon. He kept his head buried in his notes and would avoid Bucky’s eyes at all cost. He couldn’t help but think he was in the wrong. And yet he was too afraid to speak up, so the tension grew.

One evening, Steve was in his dorm room attempting to work on homework while his mind was preoccupied with anxiety. He kept reading the same line over and over but still had no clue what it was saying. It got to the point where he just couldn’t avoid his feelings anymore, so he grabbed his phone on the desk and pulled up previous texts with Bucky. His fingers hovered above the keyboard for several minutes while he formulated his message. He would write out something, reread it, delete it - rinse and repeat. This went on for god knows how long until he forced himself to hit send.

_S: Hey Bucky, do you have time to talk?_

Seconds later he saw that Bucky was typing, sparking his anxiety. It was too late now.

_B: Sure, what’s up?_

_S: I’m worried about all this. I’m worried that I said yes without thinking._

_B: Oh._

_S: I’m just… confused. And it’s my fault, not yours._

Steve noticed that Bucky had not responded for several minutes, and he went into full panic mode. The thing he was most terrified about was happening.

_S: I don’t want this to end, I’m just scared._

_S: Scared that something will happen or that one of us will get badly hurt._

_S: Bucky?_

Steve held his breath, his eyes glued to his phone. Finally he saw Bucky responding.

_B: I understand where you’re coming from. If you want to stop seeing each other that’s okay. Do what’s best for you, Steven._

“Fuck…” Steve muttered, quickly finding the call button and held his phone up to his ear. Bucky immediately picked up. “I-I’m sorry, I suck at saying things over text so I thought this would be better.”

“Yeah, I agree with that.” Bucky said in a low tone. He sounded tired.

“I guess I’m just worried that I agreed more out of lust than love. I-I can be impulsive, and I don’t want to continue this half-heartedly and hurt you even more. But at the same time, I love what we have.”

Bucky sighed loudly, taking in the information as it came to him.

“I get what you mean. I kinda pressured you unintentionally and I’m sorry for that. And I know how risky this is, which makes things complicated. But I…”

The last few words sounded shaky but he tried to hide it. There was a long pause. Suddenly, Steve came up with an idea that might just be crazy enough to work.

“Hey, Bucky? Can you pick me up? You live close to campus, right?”

“U-Uh, yeah I do. You want me to come get you…?”

“Yeah, I’d like to talk face to face.”

“Well… alright. I’ll text you when I get to your hall. It won’t be long.”

Steve smiled to himself, “Thanks. I’ll be outside.”

 

\---------------------------------------

 

Bucky heard the call hang up and sat still for what seemed like forever. What was Steve planning? Jesus, what if someone sees him picking up a student?? This had bad idea written all over it, so why did he agree?

“Whatever…” Bucky whispered to himself, shaking his head. It was late and he couldn’t think straight. At least, that's what he told himself. He lazily pulled on some baggy sweats and a jacket, got his keys and headed out into the night. In all honesty, he would _much_ rather be sleeping. He yawned several times just while walking to his car. But he started towards campus anyway.

As he pulled into the residence hall block, he turned off his brights and put his car in park. The engine rumbled softly.

_B: Here. At the back entrance._

_S: Be right there._

Bucky sat back in his seat and let out another loud yawn. Good god it had been a long day. He glanced over when he heard a door shut and saw Steve walking across the grass to his car. He opened up the passenger door and plopped himself inside the seat.

“Hey!” He greeted cheerfully, grinning. Bucky’s suspicion only increased.

“What trick do you have up your sleeve?” He asked the student, raising a brow. Steve only chuckled.

“No tricks! I just like talking in person.”

Bucky put his car in drive and headed back towards his house on the empty neighborhood roads. “Alright then. I apologize in advance for how sleepy I am. Long day.”

“It’s fine, Buck. I’m kinda tired too.”

The rest of the drive they listened to the dull roar of the radio. It was better than silence, but not by much. Bucky played it as cool as he could, but in reality he was terrified of what Steve was going to do or say. And the thought of driving him back to his dorm after breaking up didn’t sound too appealing either.

He pulled into the driveway of his small, beat-up house and locked the car as Steve waltzed up to the front door. He seemed intrigued, despite the weeds crawling up the stairs and brick.

“It’s not much. It’s actually kinda gross inside, sorry.” Bucky said, turning the key and pushing the door open with his shoulder. He flicked on a light that flickered a few times before it fully turned on. Regardless, Steve looked happy to be there. “Do you want some water or coffee or something?”

Steve made his way inside and looked at some pictures hanging on the wall, “Nah, I’m okay.” He said, “Can I sit down?”

“Of course. That chair is the comfiest, in my humble opinion.”

Steve snickered through his nose and sunk down into the old chair that was indeed very comfortable. Bucky filled a glass with water and joined Steve in the small family room, sitting on his sofa.

“So are you gonna tell me what’s going on?”

“Eventually.”

“For fuck’s sake…”

“Alright, alright! It’s kind of stupid, though.”

Bucky took a sip of his water and looked at Steve with curiosity, letting him continue.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked with the utmost confidence, grinning at Bucky with his goofy, handsome smile. Bucky held back laughter.

“That’s it?”

“That’s it!”

Still skeptical, Bucky rolled his eyes, but smiled nonetheless. “Yeah, you can kiss me. You don’t really have to ask permission.”

Steve paid no mind to the second part of the sentence and instead got up, stood over him with a determined look, and straddled Bucky’s lap; his knees on either side of him. He gently cupped Bucky’s face and ever so gently pressed their lips together in a sweet kiss. It was unlike anything Bucky had ever experienced. It was so _soft_ and passionate that he found himself practically melting. He couldn’t even move.

Steve felt something extremely different. His body felt electric and tingly, his mind was running at a million miles a second, and the only thing he could focus on was Bucky’s soft lips and intoxicating scent. He didn’t want to pull away. Neither of them did.

When Steve finally did, however, he instantly regretted it. His cheeks were warm and flushed, but he wasn’t alone. Bucky’s were just as pink and his mouth was still ajar from their heated kiss.

“Well, fuck.” Bucky eventually whispered, breathlessly, and Steve nodded in agreement. His simple plan was a success.

“That answers that.” He murmured, smiling even wider, “I wanted to see if the whole feeling fireworks thing was true. And good _god_ it’s true.”

Bucky lightly pulled Steve’s head closer so they could rest their foreheads together. “Sometimes it’s the simple things that are the most reassuring.”

The two of them sighed; relieved. No words needed to be said. And since Bucky was much too lazy to drive Steve back to his residence hall, he grabbed a few blankets and cuddled up with Steve, feeling happy and _loved_. That feeling alone was enough to lull him to sleep, not to mention the living blanket he had snuggled on top of him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO much for all the positive feedback!! I'm so excited that people are enjoying this story! Let me know what else you'd like to see either in this fic or stuff in the future ^^ I love hearing ideas! Thanks again <3
> 
> -Dim

A faint buzzing sound annoyed Bucky’s ears, bringing him out of his deep sleep and into reality. He could already see the sunlight without opening his eyes. The sound got louder the more he came into consciousness and eventually he realized that it was his alarm going on in his bedroom a few rooms over. Begrudgingly, he forced himself off the sofa and stumbled half-asleep towards his room. He could feel pain crawling up his back; the biggest downfall of sleeping on an old couch.

He slapped the clock on the top to stop the beeping. He wished the numbers were lying, but - yup - it was six in the morning. Bucky let out a loud yawn and mindlessly searched through his closet for his ‘professional’ clothes. Meaning: jeans without holes in them and a decent looking jacket. (The only time he wore khakis was when he absolutely had to.)

After finishing his morning routine, Bucky headed out, but something caught his eye on the way out. A piece of ripped paper was taped to his door.

  _Sorry for leaving so early - I had to finish some homework which I left in my dorm room. Plus I didn’t want Sam (my roommate) to be suspicious… But I’ll text you! Have a good day!_

  _-Steve_

Bucky smiled goofily to himself. His thoughts drifted to the night before and his smile widened. He felt like a giddy teenager falling in love for the first time, which he wasn’t complaining about in the slightest. He hadn’t felt this happy with a romantic relationship in a long time. A _very_ long time. _How long had it been since-...?_

Before he had the time to go down memory lane, he pulled himself back into the present. He wasn’t in the mood to relive shitty experiences. With that behind him, he opened the door and let that fresh, Autumn air get him ready for the day to come. So far, so good.

\---------------------------------------------

Despite being tired as all hell, Steve was in a very good mood. He finished his assignments for the day which meant he could go for his morning jog a bit earlier than usual. After that, he would get breakfast and some coffee. As much as he liked summer, he _adored_ the Fall. Perfect weather and beautiful scenery was enough to send him into bliss. A warm latte, if available, was even a better addition to the equation.

Sam was still asleep, but he didn’t have a class until later, so Steve let him rest. He grabbed his lanyard and gently closed the door to their room behind him. A few people greeted him while he jogged across campus. He would smile, wave, and that was that. If he were to be honest, he didn’t know half the people he was saying hello to. But a bit of kindness never hurt!

Another thing he enjoyed about running were all the dogs he got to see. _So many dogs!_ He couldn’t help but pet as many as he could (with the owner’s permission of course). Most of the owners knew him by name now since he ran nearly every morning. It was a good way to get Steve up in the morning, that’s for sure.

His watch starting yelling at him, signalling that his thirty minutes were up. Next was breakfast. He turned the corner and was met with a familiar face when he lifted his head. Bucky was grinning at him while sipping his coffee.

“Mornin.” He said groggily, putting one hand in his pocket.

“Good morning Bu-” Steve stopped; students were around. “Good morning, professor!”

“Nice save.” Bucky murmured teasingly, resulting in a dramatic eyeroll from Steve. “How many classes do you have today?”

“Just two - they’re a couple hours long. I usually get out around four, but it’s Friday so my prof might let us out earlier.”

Bucky nodded, “Awesome. Text me afterwards? My last class is out at three today.”

“Yeah of course!” Steve exclaimed, realizing how loud his voice was, “I-I mean, yes no problem at all.” Again, Bucky snickered. “You wanna grab dinner or something?”

“That’s what I was thinkin’.”

“Good morning Dr. Barnes!” A voice piped up from behind Steve, catching him off guard. Two female students bounded up to him and Bucky, waving happily.

“Good morning!” Bucky responded, acknowledging them by lifting his hand with his coffee. He thought that was the end of it, but instead they made their way into the conversation. Steve tensed up a bit.

“How are you, Professor?” The other one continued, clutching her textbooks, “It’s _ridiculously_ early, isn’t it?”

Bucky couldn’t really do anything else, so he acted interested for the time being.

“Yeah, I’m not exactly a morning person at heart, but I guess I have to be seeing as I’m a teacher.”

The girls chuckled, although they sounded a bit forced. Steve felt a bit awkward standing there, saying nothing. He took out his phone as a distraction.

“Yeah,” The first girl started again, “That’s why I get coffee every morning! It always wakes me up!”

“Same here!” Bucky said, getting impatient and tired of all these students constantly flirting with him. It wasn’t their fault, per se, but it was still obnoxious. He was gay _and_ in a relationship, so this was kind of uncomfortable. “Well, anyway, I gotta head to my room. I’ll see you two in class!”

Thankfully, they took the bait and cheerfully sauntered off while whispering to one another.

“I thought we weren’t in high school anymore.” Steve whispered bitterly, not expecting Bucky to laugh.

“Even in adulthood crushes feel childish. It’s kind of nice, in a way. Makes you feel like you’re young again.”

“It’s too early for this deep shit, Buck.”

Bucky placed his hand on his hip, faking a frown, “Go to class, Rogers! If I catch you skipping again I’ll-”

“Okay, okay!” They shared a laugh as Steve went in the direction of the dining hall, “Buzz off old man!”

“Detention for you!”

Steve stuck chortled through his teeth.

“I thought I just said we weren’t in high school anymore?”

The two waved goodbye and Steve’s stomach growled. He was so ready for a big breakfast and a good cup of joe. Oh, and the fact that he was going on a date tonight was pretty good too.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Infinity War messed me up so I thought I would add to this to make me feel better. Even though this isn't exactly the most comforting chapter... But hey, gotta cope somehow right? 
> 
> On a more serious note, there are some slurs against gay people in this chapter that may be sensitive to some of you. I wanted to warn you ahead of time just in case. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think, leave a kudos, and thank you for reading <3

After Steve’s first class ended, he met up with Sam who was clearly very eager to tell him something after the onslaught of texts he received. He strolled outside and heard his name called from across the sidewalk followed by Sam running towards him before he had the chance to respond. 

 

“Hey!” Sam greeted with a suspiciously cheerful grin. 

 

“Yo. What’s going on? You’re obviously excited.” 

 

Sam leaned in a bit, talking quieter. “Do you know Tony Stark?” 

 

“The third-year fraternity dude?” 

 

“Yeah, him.” 

 

“I know of him but that’s about it. Why?” 

 

“Okay, well,” Sam started talking quicker, “He’s throwing a party for people who are interested in his frat, and I know you aren’t but we could act like we are just to get in. You’re already popular so maybe you can be friends with him and get us some hella good perks.” 

 

Steve took a second to go through what his friend just said. Sam was awaiting his response impatiently.

 

“I don’t really understand what this has to do with me. I’m only ‘popular’ with the first-years, I doubt any upperclassmen know me.” 

 

“Come on man, loosen up a bit! It would be our first college party!” 

Despite not wanting to disappoint Sam, he didn’t want to go and had plans with Bucky anyway. 

 

“Sorry, I already have plans tonight.” He said, trying not to give too much away. Sam wasn’t having it, though. 

 

“Plans doing what? Studying? You need to get out and have fun for once.” 

 

“I’m uh…” His brain scrambled for the right way to word his answer, “Hanging out with someone.” 

 

“Bring them to the party!” 

 

_ You’re not making this easy, dammit.  _ Steve fought back the urge to roll his eyes. There really wasn’t an easier way to say it. 

 

“I’m going on a date, okay?” He half-whispered through his teeth, causing an immediate reaction from Sam who stepped back as if he was in shock. 

 

“You? A  _ date? _ Who is she?!” Sam meant well, but it was irritating to Steve that he assumed it was a girl. He really didn’t want to explain that it was a guy because he hadn’t exactly come out to any of his friends yet. For now he would go along with it. 

 

“She’s in a class of mine.”

 

“What’s her nam-”

 

“I don’t think you know her.” 

 

“If you say so… I just think you would have fun. I’ve never seen you actually party.” 

 

Steve felt guilty for two reasons: He felt like he was upsetting Sam, but if he went he would upset Bucky. No winning scenario existed. But an idea popped into his mind that he thought might be the best of both worlds. 

 

“What if I hang out with my date for a bit and then come to the party afterwards?” 

 

Sam’s eyes sparked, “That would work! I’m sure the party will go pretty late. They always do.” 

 

“Alright. Text me the details and I’ll see you later.” 

 

“Sick! Have fun on your date.” Sam said with a wink, obviously happy he convinced Steve to attend the party. Steve just hoped Bucky wouldn’t be mad. 

 

As soon as Sam left, he took his phone out and sent Bucky a text. He knew he wouldn’t see it until after his class, but he wanted to send it sooner rather than later. 

_ S: Hey Buck, Sam really wants me to go to a party tonight so is it okay if we cut our date a tiny bit short? I don’t want to disappoint him, but I don’t want to make you upset either. Just let me know if that’s okay because I want to make you happy too! Love you.  _

 

Bucky had about an hour left in class so in the meantime Steve figured he would do a little bit of research about this Tony Stark he’s heard about… 

 

* * *

 

Bucky’s last student left the classroom and he could finally relax for a bit. Well, as much as a college professor could ‘relax’. He pulled up his email which was full to the brim with messages from students and colleagues, so he started scrolling through to at least get a few of them out of the way. After that, he checked his phone and noticed a text from Steve.

 

In all honesty, he was glad Steve wanted to get involved on campus. Half of the college experience is hanging out with peers and he didn’t want Steve to be cramped up in his room all day. 

 

_ B: Hey, that’s totally fine! I’m glad you’re finding a friend group! Where is it at if it’s okay to ask? _

 

_ S: At a frat house is what Sam said. Never been.  _

 

Bucky figured as much. He knew Steve was responsible enough to stay safe and away from drugs or alcohol. Or at least he hoped. 

 

_ B: Just stay safe okay? Would you rather move our date to this weekend so we have more time?  _

 

_ S: If you’re okay with that! I like spending time with you so I think that would be a better option.  _

 

_ B: Sure thing.  _

 

Sure, he was a bit sad he couldn’t see his partner tonight, but he also didn’t want to seem too possessive. He had a lot of work to do anyway. 

 

_ B: Promise me you’ll be okay? And that you’ll text me if something goes wrong? _

 

_ S: Absolutely. Thank you so much.  _

 

_ B: Love you!  _

 

_ S: I love you too!  _

 

Bucky sat back in his chair with a sigh. He tried to ignore the bad feelings about this party but something was making him itch.  _ He’ll be alright _ . He told himself,  _ He’ll text me if something goes wrong.  _

 

* * *

 

 

Steve could already hear the music thumping from the frat house down the street. He was kind of nervous about going to a party that was so packed. But Sam reassured him that it wasn’t going to be “that bad”, as he put it. Sam was already there so Steve was left with his uncertainties. He checked himself in the mirror several times before being satisfied with his appearance. 

 

This was going to be an intense experience for him. Sam was all about parties and Steve, well, not so much. He liked socializing but only with a small amount of people that he knew and trusted. This was intimidating and the added pressure of making a good impression fell on his shoulders. But it was now or never so, with a lot of force, he went down the stairs and headed towards the house. 

 

He could feel the bass of the music thumping in his body with every step down the sidewalk. His mind was switching between  _ turn around _ and  _ keep going, you’re fine _ . His thoughts distracted him so much that he quickly found himself at the door of the frat house. People were sitting on the steps and in the grass, laughing and talking loudly. A few of them waved his direction even though they didn’t know each other. He shyly waved back. 

 

Someone came out the door and nearly ran into him but Steve dodged out of the way. He was being escorted by a friend, clearly drunk out of his mind. Even so, he forced his way inside. The music pierced his ears like a needle. He pushed his way through crowds of students in an attempt to find Sam and maybe introduce himself to Tony. 

 

He turned into the kitchen area where less people were and saw Sam in the corner near the fridge. 

 

“Hey, you actually came!” Sam said with a huge smile, “I’m proud of you!” 

 

“I told you I would, dumbass.” Steve joked in return. “Do you know where Tony is? I want to introduce myself.” 

 

“He’s somewhere in the living room with the rest of them. He’s wearing a Pink Floyd t-shirt.” 

 

Steve nodded and headed back into the chaos that was the living room. He was generally taller than most people so crowd searching was easier. He spotted a guy with said Pink Floyd shirt and tapped him on the shoulder. He already seemed a bit tipsy; his breath smelled of alcohol.

 

“Hey dude!” He yelled over the noise, “What’s up?” 

 

“I just wanted to say hi. I’m Steve Rogers, a first-year.” 

Tony patted his shoulder, “Nice to meet you! Grab some drinks if you wanna, we’re probably gonna play a few drinking games soon!” 

 

“Cool, maybe I’ll join.” 

 

Tony shook his head and a bit of alcohol spilled off the side of his cup, “I’ll get you some, take a seat!” 

 

Hesitantly Steve sat on the ground with some other partygoers. They all formed a circle (or the equivalent of a circle that a bunch of drunk people created) and drank from their cups while conversing. Tony brought in more drinks and placed them in the center, someone turned down the music, and several people were shushed as Tony explained the game. He threw a deck of cards into the middle as well. 

 

“Alright, so this is a Truth or Dare kind of game. The red cards are truths, the black are dares. Each person will pick a card and either do the truth or dare, or if y’all pussy out then you have to drink for as long as the person to your right tells you to. That person will also make up the truth or dare.” Everyone shifted in excitement, some whispering to one another. A few girls looked over at Steve who was avoiding all eye contact with anyone in the circle.

 

Tony shoved a friend and made him pick a card first. The first few truths and dares were harmless. No one “pussied out” as Stark put it. Kiss the person next to you on the cheek, what’s the most sexual thing you’ve done in public, and so on. A girl a few people down from Steve turned over her card - it was black. She giggled and the kid on her right looked around the circle, observing everyone. His eyes locked with Steve’s and he pointed at him. 

 

“Give him a lap dance.” He said with a smug grin. The girl didn’t even hesitate as she got up and pranced over to Steve, winking. Steve instantly panicked. He kind of backed up but she took that as an invite to get comfortable. She sat in his lap, making Steve tense up, not knowing what to do. He pushed her arms away when she attempted to wrap them around his neck. 

 

“What’s your name hon?” She asked in his ear. His response got caught in his throat.

 

“U-Uh, I’d rather not. I don’t really-” 

 

Her hips rolled towards him and he lightly pushed her away. 

 

“I’m dating someone and t-this isn’t right.” 

 

“She won’t know~” 

 

“T-That’s not..” 

 

Her final attempt at seducing him was enough. He took her by the shoulders and pushed her off of his lap, scrambling to his feet. 

“I’m gonna go.” 

 

Everyone in the circle booed. Steve’s heart was pounding at a mile a minute. 

 

“C’mon, don’t be a fucking pussy!” Someone yelled.

 

Some others chimed in. Most of them didn’t register except for one. 

 

“What, are you a faggot or somethin?!” 

 

Steve’s head whipped towards the voice. He instinctively glared right at the guy who said it. Feeling threatened, the man stood and walked up to him. Steve was taller, but apparently that didn’t intimidate him. 

 

“What, did I hurt your feelings, fag?” 

 

Steve clenched his fists, “Back away.” 

 

“You scared? Run back to your homo friends, pussy.” 

 

He couldn’t help it. His anger was boiling over. The frat boy tried to say something else but the wind was knocked out of him when Steve shoved him in the chest. He quickly retaliated and shoved Steve back, harder. He tried to kick at him but Steve grabbed him by his shirt and pushed him to the ground. After a few seconds of glaring at one another, Steve snapped back into reality. 

 

_ Fuck!  _ He took a step backwards but a few other guys shoved him back forwards.  _ I’m an idiot! Why do I do this to myself?!  _

 

The guys surrounding Steve shoved him back and forth. Steve elbowed one in the neck which set him off and suddenly he was on the ground with several furious faces ready for bloodshed. Steve blocked his face with his arms as a few of them kicked him. Some others tried to stop the situation but the drunken rage was taking control. 

 

“Steve! Fuck, Steve, hey!” Through all the yelling he heard Sam’s voice. He rushed over and pulled a few of them away, trying to help Steve escape, but soon got lost in the pile of people. “Steve, get out of there!” 

 

He peeked through the gap between his arms, avoiding a few of the kicks, hair pulls, and horrible slurs being thrown at him, finally finding a small hole to escape. He rolled onto his side, sweeping one foot under the men, tripping them as a means of distraction. He then got on his knees and made a beeline for the exit he had made, pushing through the mound of college students and frat boys who were yelling nonsense. His entire body was pulsing with anxiety, anger, and pain. He heard Sam call for him but ignored it and bursted out the front door. He didn’t care about the looks he was getting. He didn’t care about the yelling and chaos behind him. He needed to hide before it got worse. 

Next to the steps were a few bushes, hidden by the wall surrounding the path up to the door. Steve jumped over the wall and pressed himself into the corner, hiding behind the bushes. He prayed that the night would help hide him. He heard people stomping down the stairs, screaming and threatening to kill him. He pressed his hand against his mouth to quiet his rapid breathing. The voices passed by him and soon became faint as the group of angry college students searched for Steve. When he felt somewhat safe, he frantically grabbed his phone and called Bucky. The line rang a few times before he heard the familiar voice.

 

“James Barnes speaking.” 

 

“Bucky, help.” 

 

“Steve?” 

 

“Bucky please help. I can’t breathe.”

 

“What’s going on?! Where are you?” 

 

“Frat house down the street from my dorm. Please.” 

 

“Fuck, I’m in my office, I’ll be there as soon as I can.” 

 

“In the bushes. I’m in the bushes hiding.” 

 

“Okay, just stay calm for me. I’m on my way right now.” 

 

Steve regretted coming to this party.


End file.
